I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize