Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
