'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
His hands were made for my vagina.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
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