You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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