Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Randomize
