So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize