somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
