why didn't you poke me back
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
