Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
