I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
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