"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
