i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
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