my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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