i jhust puked up my retainher.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize