My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Even my vagina gasped.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
