That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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