I seem to have left my pride at pride
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I am one with the molecules
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize