I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I am available for nakedness
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Randomize
