apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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