Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
