Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Randomize
