How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
