I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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