I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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