My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Randomize
