Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
And then the night went full on bisexual.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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