if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
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