So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
