I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Randomize
