i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
