Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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