oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
