so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I will be naked everywhere
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize