My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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