What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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