god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Randomize
