Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
