google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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