real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
