Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Randomize
