Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
