maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
