At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize