The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Randomize
