We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
