It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize
