My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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