I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
