He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
