i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Randomize
