I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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