also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Randomize