hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
