heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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