He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
