i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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