Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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