Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
