People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
She even gives head with a lisp.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
