there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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