The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize
