I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Mom said you looked used
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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