If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
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