After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
