I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize