I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
