i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
