i may or may not be watching the land before time
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Did I show you my penis last night?
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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