No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
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