You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
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