He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
