Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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