omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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