It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize