Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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