Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
this is an emotional support booty call
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
