This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
50% drunk capacity currently
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
