I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
