Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
