at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
either way he was missing a nipple.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
