R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
