i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize