Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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