hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
