doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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