I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
