whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
